A Note on Trying Hard Stuff

“Make your heart bleed! Put your soul into that damn thing. And try new things”. - Dimebag Darryl

I got a pet peeve, and I’m gonna rant about it here. I hate it when people say “Eh, that’s not really ‘for’ me”, or “Eh, I don’t really ‘get’ it” about something they’ve never really given a shot. I’ll explain.

First off, what does it mean for something to be “for” a certain group anyway? Anyone is allowed to enjoy anything, regardless of who they are, right? Am I not allowed to enjoy a Taylor Swift song because I’m a dude? Am I not allowed to bang Doechii out of my crappy little Prius right between Metallica and Rage Against the Machine? Because that’s exactly what I do. I love Doechii. NISSAN ALTIMA is a banger. If you’re not on Doechii yet- check her out, you’re welcome. 

Secondly, how boring are you that you’re not even going to give something a shot? How can you possibly know if something is going to be “for” you without even trying it? Don’t be the picky eater of the group. Everyone knows what it’s like to want to go out to eat with friends, but you can’t go check out the new Thai fusion spot because so-and-so only eats Burgers and is gonna be a pain about it. Everyone hates that guy, and I tell ya what, eventually you stop inviting that guy to dinner. 

Thirdly - How does ANYONE find ANYTHING they’re passionate about anyway? Nobody’s BORN to do anything. We’re all the same in the beginning, a naked, screaming mess, and yet somehow certain things aren’t “for” some of us? Give me a break.

I say all this because the number one thing I hear in response to people finding out that I own a martial arts gym is some version of “Oh man, that’s cool, but I could never do that!” I believe them when they tell me because if that’s the attitude you have, you’ll never be able to do what we do. With that mentality, you’re defeating yourself before you even start.  

But there’s good news here. All you need for Jiu-Jitsu to be “for” you is to want it. That’s it. You need to suck it up and be ok with being new at something, and being pretty terrible at it at first. But that’s the barrier between being a fun and interesting person and a boring sad-sack who eats at the same restaurants, listens to the same music, and just is in a total rut of routine. You need to be brave. You need to find the things that maybe aren’t “for” you and try them out so you can learn that maybe there’s something there for you after all. 

Jiu-Jitsu wasn’t “for” me. When I started, I was an out of shape former soccer player who sometimes went for runs. I had no wrestling or martial arts background whatsoever, but what I did have was a buddy who did it and a willingness to try. Ten years later, I own a gym. Life’s funny like that. 

I’ll sum it up like this - Seek out the things that aren’t for you. That’s where the good shit is. 

See you on the mat! 

–D